Healing from Disconnection – Journey to Inner Oneness and Wholeness

Late one evening, after putting down the younger 7 of our 10 children, I collapsed into bed—exhausted. As I relaxed, I questioned why I was doing the work of another nonprofit.

Why am I doing this? Why am I teaching others about oneness?

My heart responded with something I didn’t expect:

“Life without connection is painful and scary.”

My eyes started to well up as I felt the emotional truth of this. It described how I've felt throughout my life, and my need of healing from disconnection. As such, a part of me has always longed to feel whole—connected and fulfilled. I'm overall a happy person, but since early childhood I've carried a deep sense of something being wrong or broken inside of me.

I've also recognized it in hundreds of my clients over the years. You may have recognized this in yourself: an obvious or subtle sense of feeling broken, lost, or that something’s missing or lacking in you. This accompanies a feeling of not being enough. It also may foster an addiction, or intense propensity toward perfectionism or high standards of performance.

These underlying feelings of emptiness or lack are very common, and is associated with what is called the hunger of the soul in certain spiritual and literary contexts. This hunger is often expressing a deep longing for connection, fulfillment, or divine presence.

As I’ve spent years studying the nature of oneness (both personally and within communities), I’ve discovered something profound: Oneness is wholeness—of heart, of life, of relationships. It’s the sense of being fully known, fully connected, and fully alive.

When I say oneness, I mean that deep sense of spiritual fulfillment that comes when we’re truly connected—to ourselves, to others, and to something greater than us. Oneness is inseparable from our feelings of belonging, joy, and peace.

Its opposites—division, fragmentation, and conflict—are what we’re witnessing in the world today, especially through the violence, contention, and continuous online rancor.

Sure, we can step away from the noise. Close the apps. Turn off the news. Be present in the moment. But that night in bed, when I paused long enough to truly listen inward, my heart revealed excruciating lack. Brokenness. Fear.

I was suffering from division, but it wasn’t out there in the world. It was in me. I was disconnected.

I realized that we are far more affected by the disconnection within ourselves than by any external conflict or societal division. And in my inner disconnection, I felt scared and in pain.

This is humbling for me to admit considering I’ve taught thousands of people simple, effective self-healing practices. It just goes to show that I can know all the answers to a problem, and still suffer from that problem. Healing takes more than knowledge. It requires courage and integration. Stunning amounts of them!

We imagine that healing brings light—and it does. But we’re often unprepared for the darkness that precedes it: the confrontation with what we’ve avoided, the surfacing of fear, shame, and self-hate. These are often at the root of feeling disconnected or broken, and are the unnoticed remnants of our deepest wounds—rejection, betrayal, and abandonment.

Not only do these leave scars, but they initiate an internal separation. A distance is created between who we think we are, or try to be, and our true self.

Some call this true self the soul, the “I Am,” or pure consciousness. It’s the singular, sacred part of us that we bury beneath masks and social personas in order to feel safe and protected. However, the more we orient ourselves around those external identities, the more disconnected we become from who we truly are.

And where there’s disconnection, there’s suffering—a hunger of the soul.

I accept that I have more healing to experience. I'm so grateful to acknowledge that! But I have also found answers. My purpose now is to share these answers with you. I hope that together we'll demonstrate the courage needed to perform this sacred inner work and become one—first within ourselves, with God, and with each other.

Yes, life without connection is scary and painful. But healing is possible. Oneness is the aim. And joy is the reward.

Please join me in this most holy and consequential work.